


Play Pretend

by misura



Category: The Breakfast Club (1985)
Genre: M/M, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 11:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5454794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's not really a plus one kind of event, you know? It's more of a ... a <i>not</i> plus one kind of event."</p><p>"You mean most of you guys are too pathetic to get a girlfriend," Bender said.</p><p>(Bender and Brian at the annual Physics Club Banquet.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play Pretend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eleanor_lavish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleanor_lavish/gifts).



"I'm not - " Brian said, because his mind kept shoving images of him of John Bender in a suit, hanging off of Brian's arm as he walked into the Hilton and that was just - "It's not really a plus one kind of event, you know? It's more of a ... a _not_ plus one kind of event."

Far more likely: John Bender, _not_ in a suit, growling at any of Brian's friends who breathed on him - except that Brian didn't think it would be quite _that_ bad, either.

"You mean most of you guys are too pathetic to get a girlfriend," Bender said.

Brian considered pointing out that he'd done quite well in the girlfriend department, thank you. Even if it was, strictly speaking, a _boy_ friend. "No, I don't think that's why."

"Oh, right." Bender cocked his head. "You mean you don't _want_ me to come."

"You could join the Physics Club." _No, you couldn't._

"You could kiss my ass."

Brian felt his face go warm. Of course, when people said stuff like that, they didn't actually mean it literally. It was just an expression. A _crude_ expression. "I'd rather kiss your mouth," he muttered.

Bender mock-gasped. "Now you mind your language, young man."

"Why?" Brian asked. " _You_ don't."

"I'm a punk," Bender said. "You're a dweeb. Them's the breaks, Bri."

"I'll uh - I'll ask Mr Franzenjammer, all right?" Now _there_ was a fun prospect.

 

Mr Franzenjammer was unexpectedly open to the notion of Brian bringing a guest.

 _Nothing wrong with a bit of fresh blood, is there?_ he'd asked, and Brian had managed not to say that with Bender, fresh blood might indeed be an option, except that there'd _definitely_ be something wrong with it. _Just make sure he looks respectable and behaves himself._

There'd been a wink which Brian hadn't been quite sure how to take, but that was pretty much it.

 

Brian was wearing shoes one size too big for him, a rented suit that felt like it was at least one size too small and what he hoped to be a cheerful, carefree expression, giving away neither fact.

"You know, this is actually fun."

Bender's clothes looked like they'd been made for him, which seemed unlikely.

"Really? Cool." Brian'd been making a bit of an effort to talk to people about other things than Physics. It was good to hear that it had paid off - and with everyone all dressed up, Bender stood out a lot less than Brian'd feared. True, some people knew who he was, but they seemed willing to at least give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm joking."

"Oh."

Bender grabbed his wine glass and sniffed. "Like, what is this? Grape juice?"

"Yeah. I mean, we're just kids, you know?" Brian snorted. "Not like we can actually drink wine, right? But we can _pretend_. It's really fun."

Bender gave him a pitying look. " _Pretending_ that you're drinking wine is 'really fun'?"

"Well, it is." Brian looked down on his plate. He wasn't sure what this course was supposed to be, but it certainly looked fancy and expensive.

" _Really_." Bender's tone had changed from mocking to thoughtful.

Brian wasn't sure if that was good news or bad news. "I've actually been drunk, you know. Well, tipsy, at least. You know, when you've just got a nice buzz going and you're spacing out and enjoying yourself."

"Did that one time involve grape juice, too, or were you actually being naughty, reading a book or maybe reading an article that was actually only meant for adults?"

Now that was just insulting. "Oh, come on. You don't believe I've ever consumed an alcoholic beverage? Because I have consumed plenty of alcoholic beverages. Tons."

"Was this when you were with your girlfriend in Canada?"

 _Yes._ "No."

"You know, Bri, this relationship just isn't going to work if you keep lying to me."

Brian sipped some grape juice and pretended it helped him to stay cool. "I had a beer. Once."

"A whole beer." Bender nodded, his expression impressed. "Did you drink it straight from the bottle? Are you sure it wasn't actually applejuice?"

"It was okay. Not _great_ or anything." He'd been a little disappointed and a little relieved, too.

"You can say you didn't like it, you know. It's not a sin. I'm not going to think less of you."

"Why? 'cause you already think I'm a dweeb?"

Bender drank some of his own juice and grimaced. "You kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?"

Brian glanced to his left, to check if Norman'd heard that one. While making introductions, he'd been a little vague on what, exactly, he and Bender were. The implication had been 'kind of friends'.

"If you're not having a good time, why'd you want to come in the first place?"

"Free booze and food? What's not to like? You never mentioned anything about _fake_ booze."

Brian was pretty sure that wasn't why. "It's not fake. And nobody says you _have to_ pretend it's wine. You can just think of it as grape juice in a wine glass."

"Ah, yes. But you think pretending's actually _fun_ , don't you?"

"It _is_ fun." Wearing suits and extra fancy shoes and going to the Hilton where people called you 'sir' even though you were clearly still in high school.

"All right then. How about, you _pretend_ I'm feeling you up under the table? I mean, I'd get under there, but I don't want to get these trousers all dirty and dusty."

 _But you're okay with me getting_ mine _dirty?_ Brian swallowed. "They probably clean. A lot. It being a hotel and all. Nobody wants to stay in a hotel when it's dirty, right?"

"Are you seriously asking me to blow you in the middle of your precious Annual Physics Club Banquet?"

Brian flushed. "No! Of course not."

"Honesty, Bri. One time offer. Now or never. Get blown or go home."

"We haven't even had dessert yet," Brian said. "I'm not going to leave just because you're completely bonkers and crazy and insane."

"Those would be words we call synonyms. It means they mean the same thing."

"I know what synonyms are."

"Pretend I've got my hand on your leg," Bender said.

Brian scowled. "I don't need to _pretend_ you've got your hand on my leg."

"So?"

"So ... we could maybe excuse ourselves and go to the bathroom or something?" The toilets in this place were super fancy, too.

"Brian." Bender sighed. "We're at the _Hilton_. And what kind of place is the Hilton?"

"No." Brian shook his head. "No. No way. Do you know how _expensive_ the rooms here are?"

"Plenty of empty ones. We just need to find one. You like beds, right? I mean, it's what you're always going on about. Well, here's your chance. A bed at the Hilton."

"Do you know how much trouble we're going to be in if they catch us? My parents would kill me."

"I'm not hearing a 'no'," Bender said. "C'mon, Bri. Live a little. You're only young once."

"I said 'no' like ten seconds ago."

"Well. I _did_ promise to return these pants in a clean and pristine manner, but I suppose some promises are simply meant to be broken. So what's it going to be?"

Brian drained his wine glass. "Neither."

"That's boring. I'm very disappointed in you, Bri."

"Yeah?" Brian's mouth felt very dry. "So ... so then what are you doing, feeling me up under the table? I mean, that _is_ your hand on my thigh, isn't it?"

For five heartbeats, Bender just stared at him. That in itself was an accomplishment.

Then Bender grinned and Brian started breathing again.


End file.
